U.S.A. Paper Weights...Why?
Back onto one of my favorite subjects again, paper measure in the U.S.A. Two major influences have caused our country to have the most complicated and convoluted paper measurement system in the world.
The King has Ten Toes
First I blame our friends across the water, the English, for creating the intolerably complicated imperial measure system and then imposing it upon us. Yards, stones, quarts, feet for goodness sakes, it's all too ridiculous once you become aware of the simplicity that most of the modern world enjoys with the metric system. Couldn't these folks count? With the exception of Henry VIII I believe they could see their fingers and toes and therefore had the tools to figure out the metric system. Thank God we threw them out of the US before the automobile was invented or we'd all be driving on the wrong side of the road.
Washington Know How
Of course we do have ourselves to blame for accepting imperial measure. We have never taken the initiative to throw this system out with the trash. I remember a push in the 70's to "go metric" and then, somehow, it just faded away into the far off distance with the idea of decent gas mileage and alternatives to oil. To make matters worse, in the 1800's, the U.S. federal government took imperial measure and applied it to paper measure, with a demented twist.
For heavens sake, the system is so complex that it is as though two government bureaucrats were chatting one night, over a grog, and one suggested that we might make things easier and streamline the U.S. systems of measurement to the horror of the other bureaucrat. Who replied, "Stop man! You must be insane. We'll make a system so confusing and filled with exceptions that no one will be able to use it without our help or the help of published guides and rules. Here's an idea, how about we make a system where we call this light weight paper 80 lb and then we call this heavy paper 80 lb as well?" The devilish deed was completed. I can only hope that this scenario is somewhat close to how U.S. paper measure was concocted, the alternative that someone somehow thought this was a good idea is just too alarming to consider.
I try to bring some clarity to the system in my article Paper Weights Demystified... I hope you find this soothing.
The King has Ten Toes
First I blame our friends across the water, the English, for creating the intolerably complicated imperial measure system and then imposing it upon us. Yards, stones, quarts, feet for goodness sakes, it's all too ridiculous once you become aware of the simplicity that most of the modern world enjoys with the metric system. Couldn't these folks count? With the exception of Henry VIII I believe they could see their fingers and toes and therefore had the tools to figure out the metric system. Thank God we threw them out of the US before the automobile was invented or we'd all be driving on the wrong side of the road.
Washington Know How
Of course we do have ourselves to blame for accepting imperial measure. We have never taken the initiative to throw this system out with the trash. I remember a push in the 70's to "go metric" and then, somehow, it just faded away into the far off distance with the idea of decent gas mileage and alternatives to oil. To make matters worse, in the 1800's, the U.S. federal government took imperial measure and applied it to paper measure, with a demented twist.
For heavens sake, the system is so complex that it is as though two government bureaucrats were chatting one night, over a grog, and one suggested that we might make things easier and streamline the U.S. systems of measurement to the horror of the other bureaucrat. Who replied, "Stop man! You must be insane. We'll make a system so confusing and filled with exceptions that no one will be able to use it without our help or the help of published guides and rules. Here's an idea, how about we make a system where we call this light weight paper 80 lb and then we call this heavy paper 80 lb as well?" The devilish deed was completed. I can only hope that this scenario is somewhat close to how U.S. paper measure was concocted, the alternative that someone somehow thought this was a good idea is just too alarming to consider.
I try to bring some clarity to the system in my article Paper Weights Demystified... I hope you find this soothing.
Labels: 80 lb cover, 80 lb text, metric system, paper measure, paper weights
posted by Brian Cowie at
1:30 PM
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